New Outlook

i survived this week!...barely. one night, after going through the house and checking all the door and window locks for the third time, i forced myself to go to bed. i just kept praying for peace and comfort so that i could get some rest. i was finally in a deep sleep when ella woke up screaming and crying. i jumped up and screamed so loud which made her scream even more. i was still so out of it, i screamed "ella!" then i went and picked her up and realized no one had broken in and tried kidnapping my baby. ugh! my heart was racing like never before. i checked on lincoln and put her back to sleep. i was dreading going back to bed. i checked the time hoping it would soon be time for us to get up... it was only 11:48 pm. i was so bummed. i said another prayer, and tried not to be so paranoid. that was probably the hardest night for me, and thank goodness for under eye concealer.

the kids and i kept pretty busy this week. it was mainly the evenings that i wasn't looking forward to going back home alone. i did buy two cartons of ice cream and ate straight from the box - my loneliness got the best of me. but besides that, i'm surrounded by the greatest "wives" and i love spending time with them.

there was a spouses brief late thursday night and i can't even tell you how much i enjoyed it. i went to the last classes spouses meeting and i was tearing up the whole time because of how scary they made IOC sound even for us spouses. this time around it was completely different. the captain in charge, capt. cummings, was so friendly and he answered any questions we had (and we had a ton of questions). you could just tell he really cared about us and our husbands and that just brought me so much comfort. i left the meeting happy and in a way pumped with the feeling that everything is going to be ok. i had a new outlook on things and i just want to enjoy this time in my life as much as possible. maybe i was really excited too because captain cummings said he might have our orders to us by monday. so... i made it a point to go up to him after class and personally request that he send us the pendleton, ca! woo! i hope my dreams come true and i get to go back to the best state in the u.s. oh, and i get to be near family again. ha ha. 2 more days.... hopefully! (do you know how long i've been waiting to find out where the next few years of my life would be)?!

it is so nice to have chris home. it's amazing how much safer i feel at night with him by me. i just love feeling him near me, even if it's just my cold feet are touching his, or i have my hand reached over touching his side or only our figure tips are touching. what a difference it makes in making me feel so loved and protected. one good thing i'm getting out of being separated is learning to appreciate the little things and the things that truly make me happy. i'm really going to look at things in a more positive way. life really is great!

there are only  10 weeks left of IOC! i made this count down for chris with quotes, words of encouragement, and coupons from me. every week he'll tear one link off and we'll get to see how much closer to the end we are. (this might be more for me than him)!