...I received from Chris late Tuesday night
translation (for my non military friends who've been asking what this means):
we are being moved to Camp Lejuene in North Carolina where we'll live for about 3 years. Chris' job is ground intelligence and apparently the only the infantry guys received their their duty station (where they will be living/working from). So we're hoping there is a possibility this will change.
I've been having a really hard time accepting this right now. I was really looking forward to going back home to California and that is all I had my mind set on. Our plan was to drive across the country for the holidays with all of our belongings after he finished IOC. The kids and I would stay with family for a few months while Chris finished GIOC in Virginia Beach. I would find us a house and we'd be settling in by the time he got back. We had no other plans. There was no question in our minds that we would be going anywhere else, especially Lejuene. I say especially because at the beginning of this course we were asked to list the top 4 bases we'd prefer and it when like this: 1-Pendleton, CA; 2-Kaneohe Bay, HI; 3-Okinawa, Japan; 4-29 Palms, CA. Lejuen wasn't even on our list. The first thing that came to mind were my kids. I was so sad that they would be so far from family. I don't want them to be that distant relative that gets mentioned ever once in a while. I want their grandparents and aunts and uncle to really get to know Lincoln and Ella's cute and silly personalities and REALLY love them, not just love them because they're family. I was jealous that their cousins would have such a great relationship with their grandparents and my kids would be missing out on that special bond. I just wanted to go back home.
It's been hard for me to even talk about it. My mom and I haven't even spoken about it because I know neither one of us would be able to speak through the tears. My friends were sending me messages and texts trying to cheer me up, but I couldn't even take hearing it.
This was the main reason I didn't want to marry into the military. I moved around A LOT when I was younger (I'm talking 11 elementary schools! ((give or take a couple)). I have no idea what it's like to grow up in a certain neighborhood with the same friends, in the same school or church. At some schools I was the cool kid at others I was the outcast. That was the last thing I ever wanted to put my children through. When Chris and I were dating, almost engaged, he was looking into joining the military. I told him that I couldn't do it. As honorable as it is, I just couldn't be a part of it. I wasn't strong enough to handle that life style and I really didn't want anything to do with it. I told him I couldn't marry him if he joined the military. I know this sounds harsh, but I felt I was doing the right thing. I didn't want to string him along and get married hoping he'd change his mind, and give him hell when he did join. So we both thought a lot about it and Chris ended up looking into other options and finishing up school. I didn't hear again about the military until about 2 years into our marriage. It took a lot of praying and crying for me to realize that this is the job for him. I fell in love with a courageous, noble, fearless, strong, brave, loyal, inspiring man, and no desk job would be suitable for a guy like that. It's times like these (days/weeks/months without my husband, making and losing friends, moving far from home) that make it challenging for me to accept this life, but it makes it easier knowing that it is the right path for us. I'm working hard to embrace this life style, and there has definitely been some improvement.
The day after finding out where we'd be moving to, my friends invited me over for dinner. All I wanted to do was lay around in my pajamas all day and cry. I have the greatest friends! They threw me a "pity party" with a cake and all. They shared my pain and let me vent which is exactly what I needed. I felt so much better after that. Have I mentioned how amazing they are! Thank you so much, Kim, Crystal, and El for making me feel like what I was going through was normal and putting a smile back on my face.
So what are our plans now? Well, Chris and I don't have a plan... He has been so busy with work that we haven't even had a chance to talk about it... Or maybe neither of us is even ready to talk about it yet... I'll keep all of you posted as soon as we figure things out ourselves. I did however, make a few calls to a few important people, but that's a whole other post.
I have the best group of friends - have I said that yet?! They were all so quick to cheer me up and make me feel better about it all. I really couldn't ask for better people in my life. Thank you all for your kind words and being so great to me!
So lets start with some pros to living in North Carolina:
-I know some great wives already living there.
-the housing market is cheaper so we can buy more property there
...that's all I've got for now...
2 comments:
I don't want to say "I know how you feel" because I know that's cliche and really, I don't know how you feel. Though I can tell you that I understand. I am living in Spokane, WA right now, whereas my family and my husband's family are all in Riverside, CA. It's on the west coast still, but it might as well be North Carolina. It's too far to drive home and we only get to see our family over Christmas because my husband's parents are paying to fly us down. Our husband's know what they want to do in life and we have to support and follow them no matter how hard it is. We're here in Washington because Bryan is attending Law School, which is a 3 year program. I HATE being so far from my family and what I hate the most is that they can't watch my baby, Max grow up and that Max doesn't know who they are (and cries when they try and hold him). I have no idea where we're going to end up after law school. We're so lucky though. We're so lucky that our husbands are following their dreams and that they married such wonderful women like us who are letting them. Thank goodness we have the church and the gospel to support us as we support them. Good luck with everything Emma and try and keep your spirits up (or at least make sure there's plenty of ice cream in the freezer) :).
Emma, oh Emma. It sucks when life sucks. I am glad that you have good friends that help you 'grieve' over there. You and Chris will figure it out.
Post a Comment